nicotine withdrawal -
cold turkey from a pack and a half of cigs a day, non filtered (cuz i rip the filters off)
i'd give you a day 1 to day 3 synopsis, but i can't remember them really. I know i was agitated and irratable, and really angry for no apparant reason, and i'm sure, in a couple of weeks everything that has happened by this brutal attempt at quitting smoking will suddenly come rushing to the front of my brain.
however, today is day four:
shake
skin feels like leather
my face is pulled over my eyes
i can feel my blood rushing through my veins
i can feel my heart beat and my skin literally quivering
tons of energy, but its insane energy, not anything else.
i can't think, my feelings are a jumbled mess
and i have no idea what the hell is going on
damn... damn damn damn damn
i could prolly beat the crap out of a cage full of tigers
and this rage? no idea where it comes from, cuz it isn't
inside me, but it sure is coming from somewhere.
so far its taken me 20 minutes to write what i'm writing right now
cuz i've had to backspace over every word i've typed, cuz of typo's
God help me through this pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez
I can't lose anything else that matters,
or this quitting thing will have been for nothing.
I'm already thinking it is for nothing.
cuz i've already destroyed pretty much 3 friendships
and half my kitchen.
Permalink | posted by James Mendham @ 10:11 a.m. |
 
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