pretty good life actually -
heh, i think that things are finally going my way. After trusting a bevy of fuckwads, i now have the freedom of independence, without need to consult, discuss or even inform anyone else of my choices/decisions etc etc, while they say, "that's not such a good idea" with all the advantages of just having it work cuz i was correct in the first place and not led around by the fear with the harness in my nose...
No partners. No boss, no mate (although that is something that i'll rectify probably by the new year, and she won't resemble in any way shape or form the 'me so lonely' choices i've made to date), thus no one giving me unsolicited opinions; ideas; thoughts, or whatever dribble they feel the need to vomit up in a plethora of verbal blah...
Doing it my way, without listening to anyone else, has garnered me what i want.
There is something to be said for this selfish amibition thing. It never occured to me to just do what i want and the world be damned. Mind you, i think i do have the advantage of not having done that most of my life, and as a result, won't ever walk into that "this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, this is not my beautiful life" midlife crisis thing.
So, there ya go; instead of listening to some narcissistic idiot take whatever they can get from me and then tell me i'm selfish, i now have discovered that the word "No" holds immense weight. Granted I get to hear "wah" but then again, turning my back on and walking on, pretty much makes for a good sigh of peace.
Course, the financial freedom of this new found recognition has indeed fueled this new found ability and pleasure of independence. 12 grand a month. no dependents, no mate, no needy gimme gimme suck my life from me people and well, yes, i'm happy.
I am grateful for all of it. God did let me know years ago that I'd have all this at this current age, although to be honest, i never understood the reasoning, nor did i enjoy the pain of the trip to this point.
However, in retrospect, i have to admit that I am blessed, peaced, and content.
Thank you God. You are as always, trustable, reliable, faithful and fully and completely unwavering; inspite of my inability to understand the reasoning behind the why of so long on this.
:)
Permalink | posted by James Mendham @ 1:38 p.m. |
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